Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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