Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
