matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
