is your mom at the bar?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
