I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
