there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
