THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
