He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so let's talk penis.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
