Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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