WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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