I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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