and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
