smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
