I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
