if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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