I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
