when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
