She is in my trunk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
How external is "for external use only"?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
