put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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