Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
