you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
