Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
