I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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