I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
