yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
