she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
