What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
