Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
