How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
