He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
