Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
