M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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