And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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