I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I love you.
Bad choice
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
