Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
