So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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