kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How's work?
Spinning.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
