**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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