OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
