Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
