You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
