btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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