Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
