i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
