What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
