A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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