okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
