GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
