i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
