if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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