I will die if light touches me.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
