Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
