there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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